Michael Swaim

Michael Swaim

  • Website: www.thosearentmuskets.com
  • Persona:Funny Guy
  • Who is your celebrity look alike?I don't have one. Celebrities look like me.
  • Who is your celebrity crush?Nicole Richie, in that I would like to see her crushed.
  • If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have two things with you (objects, not people or food) what would they be?An ocean-draining machine and a fake pirate beard.
  • Name one food you hate:Mushrooms, but just the giant ones. Normal ones are fine.
  • How often do you talk to your mother a week/month?If email counts, many. If not, several.
  • Who is one person you would love to have dinner with?Helen Keller, because I don't like being interrupted while I'm eating.
  • Boxers, briefs, or freeball?Are you offering me free balls?
  • Dog, cat, neither?That's not even a properly formed question.
  • Name one magazine in your house right now:Okay, uh...Shirley. I name that magazine Shirley.
  • What’s your favorite quote?"Are you offering me free balls?"
  • What is your favorite song?Anything with Zither. I'm just wild for Zither.
  • What’s your favorite movie of all time?The Arrested Development movie, once it comes out.
  • Do you text, email, or call?Email all the way. Emoticons are far more charming than my actual face.
  • If you could donate $1 million to a charity – which one would you choose?Whichever one funds the most explosions.
  • How many days in a row do you wear the same socks?Ew.
  • If you had a daughter, and she asked you real nice, would you let her paint your toenails?More like BEGGED. Prude bitch wouldn't do it.
  • Do you have any sisters, and if so, are they older or younger than you? If not, do you have any siblings at all, and where do you fall in the mix?I'm the oldest of two boys. My parents felt it was important we have fighting partners of equivalent size. Also, the success of their underground child-fighting ring kind of depended on it.
  • More about you?There is nothing else about me. This profile represents a complete encapsulation of my tastes, dreams and core values. Don't bother reading my blog posts, because I'm totally out of material as of...now.
  • What is your Twitter username?SWAIM_CORP
  • Your Astrological Sign:Gemini
  • What's your favorite sport?"Favorite sport" is an oxymoron as far as I'm concerned. Does coughing count as a sport?
  • What's your favorite professional sports team?The Pittsburgh Coughers
  • Do you have kids? If not, do you want rugrats one day?My lame wife refuses to get knocked up until out of medical school. I know, so selfish.

No submitted questions published yet.