Having disproportionately large/muscular calves. Did you see that bro walking into the food court? He was so highly calfeinated he looked like Popeye in a pair of New Balance. Follow me, Amit "Funny Guy" Wehle on Twitter @AmitWehle
Understanding what guys mean is half the battle.
The times during the week that it is safe for a man (or woman) to watch porn. "My roommate is at class until four o'clock every Tuesday and Thursday. That makes for a pretty good Porn Schedule."
The inability to properly receive or write back on group texts because your phone stinks. Forgive me, I am textically challenged. Did you give me the address for your birthday dinner?
A statement usually appended after something horribly sexist. "I think you should shut up and get me a sandwich. But I'm a nice guy!" is the most common version.
A person who, though seemingly normal, reveals himself to be racist. "My girlfriend's dad seemed awesome, until he started saying some really terrible stuff. Total Surprise Racist."
A play on the name of enormous wrester, Andre The Giant. The term refers to a large vagina. I'm not sure If I'm just really small or Betty has an Andre Va Gina. It just wasn't working for us... Follow me, Amit "Funny Guy" Wehle on Twitter @AmitWehle
A mysterious location that most people seem to think runs the country, where the rule of law is dictated not by elected representatives, but drunken screenwriters.
A type of behavior that suggests that someone is too self-absorbed to realize he's humiliating himself. "Did you see that guy on the dance floor who spent two hours fist pumping and buying people drinks? He was practically Lochte-esque."
A small bed where your significant other accidentally pushes you off in their sleep.