Meet The Guys
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Our Funny Guy is trained in the way of the chuckle, but worry not, the yucks are only secondary to the seasoned nuggets of truth he dispenses. The Funny Guy firmly believes that the key to a woman's heart isn't wealth, good looks, or regular bathing, but rather The Truth. And frankly the truth often hurts, not because it’s so mean, but because it'll make you laugh til your stomach cramps. No question is too great or small for this Sex and Dating Virtuoso. Fire away, and let the LOL-ing commence.
Recent questions answered by the Funny Guy:
- What are your thoughts on proposing after the girl is pregnant? I feel its kind of insulting, a slap in the face if you will. Couldn't get hitched in the previous x years you've dated/lived together, suddenly a kid makes him 'have to do it'. (this comes from girls talking, not whats actually happening to me :P)
- Hey..my problem is that I've got big boobs(36) and they have sagged. I'm 23 yrs old..and i feel so ashamed of it...and i feel so under-confident to get into a relationship because i'm afraid to turn a guy off. Is sagging boobs really a turn-off for a guy? I mean, will he absolutely hate me for it?
- What's the best way a girl can ask for oral sex without seeming or sounding too domineering? I've had guys tell me approach is a little too aggressive.
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The Girls’ BFF is your BS filter. He’s like a sweet and sour gummy bear. He’ll tell you if “he’s just not that into you” whether you want to hear it or not. But he’ll also give you a hug and tell you that you don’t need that guy anyway. The Girls’ BFF is the guy who will listen to what you have to say, tell you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re right, and then suggest everybody have a drink because, what the hell, who doesn’t love a drink? Sometimes he’s a part of the problem, but he’s still always there to help you undo all of the (usually wrong) over-analysis you and your girlfriends can’t stop yourselves from doing. Basically, the Girl’s BFF is the guy who helps you figure out what’s really going on. But the next move? That’s all on you.
Recent questions answered by the Girls' BFF:
- Whats the difference between being turned on amd having an errction? (a girl is asking)
- GBFF. Q:my dad left my mom when she was pregnant with me. I'm 23 now and the issues are getting into my own relationship (I'm engaged): I'm terrified of being left over anything and cry uncontrollably when we argue. How do I keep my mom's fate from affecting me as much (without therapy) and how do I keep my Mr. Right?
- My husband and i had our first child a month ago. i was thinking to get him a personalized phone case with a picture of our daughter on it for a fathers day gift. Yay or nay?
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The Chic Geek is equally comfortable amongst the hipsters at a Grizzly Bear concert or at home playing Wii Bowling with his friends, or if lucky enough, his girlfriend, on a Saturday night. Sure, he may have been shoved into the occasional locker back in middle school but that’s all in the past now that geek is “in.” He’s always up on the latest gadget or Lost rumor and he’s your go-to guy on everything from Star Wars-themed weddings to proper dating etiquette in the iPhone generation. (If only there was an app for love!) Ready to get your geek on?
Recent questions answered by the Chic Geek:
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The Reformed Player knows the dark secrets that lurk in the hearts of men, mainly because they’re his secrets too. And he’s willing to reveal all the dirty truths — if it means womankind will forgive him a little for all those times he never called back, told a half-dozen white lies in a row, or made out with your best friend. After all, players have an awful lot of fun. But they never really get the girl, not in the end. The Reformed Player can speak pick-up artist, sensitive emo-dude, and multiple dialects of douchebag. He’s got the inside scoop on all the tricks, false promises, and smooth, jungle cat moves. And he is at your service.
Recent questions answered by the Reformed Player:
- My husband that I'm divorcing and have a daughter with appears to be seeing a girl who is about to graduate from high school. He's 24...am I wrong to be repulsed? I'm not jealous, just disturbed by it. Just strikes me as pathetic.
- Why does he always ask me how my weekend was, and what my weekend plans are? Is he hinting he wants to hang out?
- Why wont my boyfriend tell his ex that he is in a committed relationship
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Nobody likes a Wise Ass, right? When the chips are down and you need advice, why bother asking an honest, objective stranger when you’ve got plenty of family and friends to coddle you and tell you exactly what you want to hear? Who needs the truth when all you really want is to feel better about yourself? A kick in the seat and a good laugh will ruin your little pity party. Besides, your mom and your unmarried 46-year-old friend with three cats and one ex-boyfriend from high school — they know far more about guys than, say, a guy himself, right?
Recent questions answered by the Wise-Ass:
- A friend of mine who is staying with me for a few days keeps bringing up the topic of how useless/stupid/unnecessary marriage is. I respect people's opinions but his bitterness and narrow-minded understanding of relationships is starting to annoy me. Short of asking him to stop, how do I deal?
- My ex remarried, regrets it and is now contacting me. What should I do?
- Why does he lie about stupid things?
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Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug. He’ll tell you that your date never called again because you talked about yourself too much or because you likely had bad breath after that bad choice of garlic knots. The stuff that comes out of his mouth will almost always come as a shock. He won't pull any punches and almost always drops out of the sky like a deus ex machina. The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right.
Recent questions answered by the Mystery Man:
- do guys like when you jump on them when you see them? in other words do guys like it when you run up to them and hug them and wrap your legs around them
- What's your opinion about that Jerad Wheeler incident?
- I love that you guys say "you decide what to do with what's inside your legs", "wear what you bloody want", "the best position is the one that makes my woman shout OH GOD!"... But be honest: when you were younger you were not so patient and supporters of women's desires, did you? At which age do guys become like you?
