Meet The Guys
Our Funny Guy is trained in the way of the chuckle, but worry not, the yucks are only secondary to the seasoned nuggets of truth he dispenses. The Funny Guy firmly believes that the key to a woman's heart isn't wealth, good looks, or regular bathing, but rather The Truth. And frankly the truth often hurts, not because it’s so mean, but because it'll make you laugh til your stomach cramps. No question is too great or small for this Sex and Dating Virtuoso. Fire away, and let the LOL-ing commence.
Recent questions answered by the Funny Guy:
- Hey there funny guy! Had a quick question for you. I tend to move around a lot when I sleep. While I haven't slept with anyone yet I am curious if you had any suggestions/solutions/assurances to this? Are guys gonna care? Is there a way I can stop?!
- I frequent a local bar and am friends with the owner. We hooked up once but it never happened again and we're still friends. I just started dating an amazing new guy who is casually friendly with the bar owner. I'm worried owner might tell new guy what happened between us. Should I tell my guy now? Help!
- My husband will have sex with me when i want to but he never makes the first move, I had our son and gained weight, could that be why? I still look pretty and do all the girlythingssuch as my toes and makeup.
The Girls’ BFF is your BS filter. He’s like a sweet and sour gummy bear. He’ll tell you if “he’s just not that into you” whether you want to hear it or not. But he’ll also give you a hug and tell you that you don’t need that guy anyway. The Girls’ BFF is the guy who will listen to what you have to say, tell you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re right, and then suggest everybody have a drink because, what the hell, who doesn’t love a drink? Sometimes he’s a part of the problem, but he’s still always there to help you undo all of the (usually wrong) over-analysis you and your girlfriends can’t stop yourselves from doing. Basically, the Girl’s BFF is the guy who helps you figure out what’s really going on. But the next move? That’s all on you.
Recent questions answered by the Girls' BFF:
- I have got inverted nipples... My boyfriend says it doesn't bother him and he loves my body the way it is but I still feel kind of insecure about them.. I tell him this and he just says the same thing about loving the way I am and such...
- After sex you ask the guy if you enjoyed it and he says he felt nothing and we should not meet again but is continued to flirt with you?
- My boyfriend is cheating and thinks I don't know. How can I make him get jelous of what he's going to loose once I tell him I know. Without involving other guys in the mix.
The Chic Geek would like to think that he is both equal parts chic and geek, an amalgamation of all things stylish, techy, and of course the hopelessly dorky. He is a perpetual sponge of pop, pop culture, culture and poppy pop cultured culture, and he is here to espouse. He loves the word “espouse,” by the way.
Recent questions answered by the Chic Geek:
- Ok I am proving a point to a friend. Is it or is it not cool when your girlfriend plays World of Warcraft with you? He is under the assumption that WoW makes ANYONE lame. BUT I think that if your cute gf plays WoW that makes her cool. True or false?
- A guy from work added me on face book the other day and since then has been messaging me a lot. At first he was ok but then he asked if i was a virgin (i am) and who i would sleep with at work and if i would sleep with him, hypothetically. why is he doing this? does he want to hurt me or is he interested in me?
- I'm an 18 year old female and I'm going to a bar for the first time. I have no idea what to wear or what women who go to bars wear. Help! (I don't have a fake ID. This particular bar is lousy with carding)
The Reformed Player knows the dark secrets that lurk in the hearts of men, mainly because they’re his secrets too. And he’s willing to reveal all the dirty truths — if it means womankind will forgive him a little for all those times he never called back, told a half-dozen white lies in a row, or made out with your best friend. After all, players have an awful lot of fun. But they never really get the girl, not in the end. The Reformed Player can speak pick-up artist, sensitive emo-dude, and multiple dialects of douchebag. He’s got the inside scoop on all the tricks, false promises, and smooth, jungle cat moves. And he is at your service.
Recent questions answered by the Reformed Player:
- Will most guys cheat , given the chance ? My brother was honest enough to break the man code - and tell me if men can get away with it - like being abroad on business and a hot chick throws themselves at them no strings - they will cheat. He said he doesn't know one friend who hasn't cheated at least once. True?
- My best friend (since kindergarten) and I broke up just days before my guy proposed. I don't know how to feel. I've literally always imagined her by my side, and sharing this with her. I want to be his wife, but the wedding stuff just seems dreary and awful now. Making up isn't an option. Should I postpone the wedding?
- My boyfriend says he needs space but its nothing to do with me and he loves me. He has 2 kids which he isn't being allowed to see by his ex and he's just sleeping all the time. What do I do?
Nobody likes a Wise Ass, right? When the chips are down and you need advice, why bother asking an honest, objective stranger when you’ve got plenty of family and friends to coddle you and tell you exactly what you want to hear? Who needs the truth when all you really want is to feel better about yourself? A kick in the seat and a good laugh will ruin your little pity party. Besides, your mom and your unmarried 46-year-old friend with three cats and one ex-boyfriend from high school — they know far more about guys than, say, a guy himself, right?
Recent questions answered by the Wise-Ass:
- I broke up with my bf of five years. We were in a LDR, neither was making enough effort. I also wasn't sure he was The One. I pondered for a year then ended it. He was devastated, asked for another chance but I said no. We rarely speak now. I think my decision was right, but was it brutal not to let him try harder?
- My boyfriend's obsessed with making his penis bigger as well as his chest and arms. I told him I love his body already. I'm scared of guys that have a big dick. He keeps telling me to go to the gym to get more fit and he'll go to get bigger? I feel like he keeps judging and comparing my body to other women.
- My dad has been a like a father to my bestie. He was running for office and she made up a huge web of lies to not vote for my dad. Plus her family spoke ill of him. I'm offended and don't want to speak to her or her family. Am I overreacting over this?
Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug. He’ll tell you that your date never called again because you talked about yourself too much or because you likely had bad breath after that bad choice of garlic knots. The stuff that comes out of his mouth will almost always come as a shock. He won't pull any punches and almost always drops out of the sky like a deus ex machina. The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right.
Recent questions answered by the Mystery Man:
- HELP--what's your best advice re meeting someone special if you aren't in to online dating?
- Boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. He agreed to give me closure and a reason as to why it ended. Whilst i was talking to him i started to cry, and he comforted me, he then kissed me out of no where, then we hooked up (sex). He said he wanted to work things out with me, but then a week later he says he doesn't to?
- I'm graduating from college in a month and I can't help feeling that I didn't take advantage of 'college life' as much as some other people. I didn't go out that much, didn't drink that much, didn't have any one night stands or anything that is considered like standard college experimenting. Did I miss out??