Meet The Guys
-
The Funny Guy firmly believes that the key to a woman's heart isn't wealth, good looks, or regular bathing, but rather a great sense of humor (and lasers; chicks love lasers). After all, you can't really offend your date's nose if she's too busy shooting milk through it. When the poop hits the wood chipper, The Funny Guy is there to give you the advice you need in a way that won't make you want to drown yourself. And chances are, you'll probably get a few choice Simpson's quotes thrown in for good measure. So if you need a laugh, bundled oh so lovingly around a little nugget of truth (or just want to know which Seinfeld episode your situation most resembles), then you've come to the right e-man. Fire away, and let the LOL-ing commence.
Recent questions answered by the Funny Guy:
- I'm travelling over 3,000 miles to visit my boyfriend (arriving on our 1st anniversary)! I can't wait to see him, 'cept his mother expects me to sleep in his sister's room! Claiming that we 'need our space'. What do we do?
- How do I turn friends with benefits into more?
- How much do guys actually listen to their mothers when picking a girl?
-
The Girls’ BFF is your BS filter. He’s like a sweet and sour gummy bear. He’ll tell you if “he’s just not that into you” whether you want to hear it or not. But he’ll also give you a hug and tell you that you don’t need that guy anyway. The Girls’ BFF is the guy who will listen to what you have to say, tell you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re right, and then suggest everybody have a drink because, what the hell, who doesn’t love a drink? Sometimes he’s a part of the problem, but he’s still always there to help you undo all of the (usually wrong) over-analysis you and your girlfriends can’t stop yourselves from doing. Basically, the Girl’s BFF is the guy who helps you figure out what’s really going on. But the next move? That’s all on you.
Recent questions answered by the Girls' BFF:
- I live in Finland and the guys are nice-looking but they seem to be a bit shy. I mean even if I smile to them they seem to be a bit terrified. Should I just go and speak to them?
- Is there a tell or a way that a girl can tell if a guy is in a relationship? because sometimes asking can be very nerve wrecking and awkward when getting to know a guy.
- People always tell me to take a chance on love, life and relationships. I try. But I my efforts almost ALWAYS backfire and I end up being burned. As a beautiful, young, African American college girl, are my options slim to none right now, or will my burn streak end?
-
The Chic Geek is equally comfortable amongst the hipsters at a Grizzly Bear concert or at home playing Wii Bowling with his friends, or if lucky enough, his girlfriend, on a Saturday night. Sure, he may have been shoved into the occasional locker back in middle school but that’s all in the past now that geek is “in.” He’s always up on the latest gadget or Lost rumor and he’s your go-to guy on everything from Star Wars-themed weddings to proper dating etiquette in the iPhone generation. (If only there was an app for love!) Ready to get your geek on?
Recent questions answered by the Chic Geek:
- I've been talking to this guy for the last 6 weeks, and about a week ago he tells me he wants to be with me. I replied by saying "Let's see what happens." In the last few days he has not been calling at night, even though we text & talk throughout the day. What's up with that?
- Can an uncircumcised man orgasm during sex with a condom?
- Is it weird to have pet names in the form of Pokemon? I have an odd habit of doing this to almost every guy I want to get romantic with. First, it was Psyduck. Then it was Growlithe. Now I'm all over Mightyena. Would you get turned off by immaturity or be intrigued by slight creativity?
-
The Reformed Player knows the dark secrets that lurk in the hearts of men, mainly because they’re his secrets too. And he’s willing to reveal all the dirty truths — if it means womankind will forgive him a little for all those times he never called back, told a half-dozen white lies in a row, or made out with your best friend. After all, players have an awful lot of fun. But they never really get the girl, not in the end. The Reformed Player can speak pick-up artist, sensitive emo-dude, and multiple dialects of douchebag. He’s got the inside scoop on all the tricks, false promises, and smooth, jungle cat moves. And he is at your service.
Recent questions answered by the Reformed Player:
- My BF is acting different. My gut tells me to leave but my hormones tell me to stick it out. Problem is I'm married 9yrs. Hubby is aware of the open relationship. But how do I get the BF to chill and just enjoy!
- Of all the dinosaurs, which one do you most resemble in traits...and/or which dinosaur traits would you most like to have?
- I'm one of those "pretty but lonely" girls that gets double-takes and stares all the time...but I rarely get approached. What gives?! Is there anything I can do to give my would-be suitors the green light.....?
-
Nobody likes a Wise Ass, right? When the chips are down and you need advice, why bother asking an honest, objective stranger when you’ve got plenty of family and friends to coddle you and tell you exactly what you want to hear? Who needs the truth when all you really want is to feel better about yourself? A kick in the seat and a good laugh will ruin your little pity party. Besides, your mom and your unmarried 46-year-old friend with three cats and one ex-boyfriend from high school — they know far more about guys than, say, a guy himself, right?
Recent questions answered by the Wise-Ass:
- My mom wants to move in with my boyfriend and me because she says she can't find a job. We both get along ok with her, but I would prefer that she get a place of her own. I worry that it will affect my relationship in a negative way. Thoughts please?
- I'm constantly getting heartbroken and everyone tells me to "get over it" or "let it go" ... which is easy to say and hard to do. How do you actually move on?
- He broke up with me countless times because he doesn't want a 'ball and chain', 'to go with the flow', yet he keeps coming back. What gives!
-
Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug. He’ll tell you that your date never called again because you talked about yourself too much or because you likely had bad breath after that bad choice of garlic knots. The stuff that comes out of his mouth will almost always come as a shock. He won't pull any punches and almost always drops out of the sky like a deus ex machina. The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right.
Recent questions answered by the Mystery Man:
- I've been dating a guy I met online for a few months, and things are going really well. I never deactivated my profile, but after we started dating I stopped answering emails/talking to anyone else. I recently noticed that was still on the site as well, and online pretty often. What do i say to ask him to quit?
- After 10 yrs, my hubby still keeps pushing to have a threesome. Now I'm pretty open-minded and do a lot for him, but I have made it clear that is one thing that will never happen. How do I make him stop bugging me about it?
- This guy that I like recently had started texting me and started calling me "baby." After a while he told me that he liked me and I told him that I liked him, but like 30 minutes after that he implied that he was texting the wrong person. How am I supposed to know if he was or not because he has had my # forever!!
