Meet The Guys
Our Funny Guy is trained in the way of the chuckle, but worry not, the yucks are only secondary to the seasoned nuggets of truth he dispenses. The Funny Guy firmly believes that the key to a woman's heart isn't wealth, good looks, or regular bathing, but rather The Truth. And frankly the truth often hurts, not because it’s so mean, but because it'll make you laugh til your stomach cramps. No question is too great or small for this Sex and Dating Virtuoso. Fire away, and let the LOL-ing commence.
The Girls’ BFF is your BS filter. He’s like a sweet and sour gummy bear. He’ll tell you if “he’s just not that into you” whether you want to hear it or not. But he’ll also give you a hug and tell you that you don’t need that guy anyway. The Girls’ BFF is the guy who will listen to what you have to say, tell you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re right, and then suggest everybody have a drink because, what the hell, who doesn’t love a drink? Sometimes he’s a part of the problem, but he’s still always there to help you undo all of the (usually wrong) over-analysis you and your girlfriends can’t stop yourselves from doing. Basically, the Girl’s BFF is the guy who helps you figure out what’s really going on. But the next move? That’s all on you.
Recent questions answered by the Girls' BFF:
- I have got inverted nipples... My boyfriend says it doesn't bother him and he loves my body the way it is but I still feel kind of insecure about them.. I tell him this and he just says the same thing about loving the way I am and such...
- After sex you ask the guy if you enjoyed it and he says he felt nothing and we should not meet again but is continued to flirt with you?
- My boyfriend is cheating and thinks I don't know. How can I make him get jelous of what he's going to loose once I tell him I know. Without involving other guys in the mix.
The Chic Geek would like to think that he is both equal parts chic and geek, an amalgamation of all things stylish, techy, and of course the hopelessly dorky. He is a perpetual sponge of pop, pop culture, culture and poppy pop cultured culture, and he is here to espouse. He loves the word “espouse,” by the way.
Recent questions answered by the Chic Geek:
- My boyfriend wants to have oral sex with a guy. Is he gay?
- Ok I am proving a point to a friend. Is it or is it not cool when your girlfriend plays World of Warcraft with you? He is under the assumption that WoW makes ANYONE lame. BUT I think that if your cute gf plays WoW that makes her cool. True or false?
- A guy from work added me on face book the other day and since then has been messaging me a lot. At first he was ok but then he asked if i was a virgin (i am) and who i would sleep with at work and if i would sleep with him, hypothetically. why is he doing this? does he want to hurt me or is he interested in me?
The Reformed Player knows the dark secrets that lurk in the hearts of men, mainly because they’re his secrets too. And he’s willing to reveal all the dirty truths — if it means womankind will forgive him a little for all those times he never called back, told a half-dozen white lies in a row, or made out with your best friend. After all, players have an awful lot of fun. But they never really get the girl, not in the end. The Reformed Player can speak pick-up artist, sensitive emo-dude, and multiple dialects of douchebag. He’s got the inside scoop on all the tricks, false promises, and smooth, jungle cat moves. And he is at your service.
Recent questions answered by the Reformed Player:
- I'm a 23 years old feminist. I intend to get married in two years. I want a partner who is understanding and doesn't care much about gender specific roles. I don't have the energy to date so I want to speed date. What questions should I ask him on our first date to decide if he gets a second date or not?
- Will most guys cheat , given the chance ? My brother was honest enough to break the man code - and tell me if men can get away with it - like being abroad on business and a hot chick throws themselves at them no strings - they will cheat. He said he doesn't know one friend who hasn't cheated at least once. True?
- My best friend (since kindergarten) and I broke up just days before my guy proposed. I don't know how to feel. I've literally always imagined her by my side, and sharing this with her. I want to be his wife, but the wedding stuff just seems dreary and awful now. Making up isn't an option. Should I postpone the wedding?
Nobody likes a Wise Ass, right? When the chips are down and you need advice, why bother asking an honest, objective stranger when you’ve got plenty of family and friends to coddle you and tell you exactly what you want to hear? Who needs the truth when all you really want is to feel better about yourself? A kick in the seat and a good laugh will ruin your little pity party. Besides, your mom and your unmarried 46-year-old friend with three cats and one ex-boyfriend from high school — they know far more about guys than, say, a guy himself, right?
Recent questions answered by the Wise-Ass:
- Why is it that a loving couple cannot agree upon what to watch on television? It's an age old dilemma, I know, but it strikes me as ridiculous that my beau and I end up in huge fights over television. Thoughts?
- I've been seeing a guy for a few months now. We both really like each other. Just one problem: he always goes straight for sex after kissing without any foreplay! He also never takes my bra off or touches my boobs unless I take it off. Is he selfish or inexperienced--we're both 19? How do I handle this?
- Why hasn't my boyfriend introduced me to his parents yet? We've been dating five years this month and I'm not sure if he is serious about me or not. Please help. Thanks.
Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug. He’ll tell you that your date never called again because you talked about yourself too much or because you likely had bad breath after that bad choice of garlic knots. The stuff that comes out of his mouth will almost always come as a shock. He won't pull any punches and almost always drops out of the sky like a deus ex machina. The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right.
Recent questions answered by the Mystery Man:
- I'm fat, ugly, and stupid. I just found out that I failed my board exam after three years of school. Single, and am seriously overweight. I feel like no matter what I do, it doesn't make a difference. What are you supposed to do when you feel like your best just isn't good enough?
- MM! What are your thoughts on girls approaching guys on the dance floor at clubs? There's this guy friend who I've been sort of flirting with but am not completely sure of his level of interest. Would this come off as too strong?
- Do men view watching porn alone while in a relationship cheating? Because I couldn't help but feel cheated on when I saw a porn site on my bf's browser history.