Women aren’t the only ones with questions about the opposite sex. We men don’t have it figured out, either, although some of us like to pretend we do. Over the last few months, amid your many questions about men, several of you have asked me what questions men might have about women. So I spent a little time talking to my guy friends — fellow Guyspeakers included — and also thinking of my own questions. This is the result.
You should know that a lot of these are responses to frequent questions we get here at Guyspeak. They are also mostly rhetorical, but if you feel compelled to answer, knock yourself out.
Why are you so competitive with each other? Guys don’t care who has cooler shoes, better hair color or a more expensive bag. We don’t know the difference between Kate Spade and Louis Vuitton, and we don’t want to. We’re more likely to notice a woman who’s perpetually snarky about other women than any of the things you think matter to us.
Why do you date a-holes? What is this allure of the Bad Boy? You like being used and abused and dumped? Really? Why? Does being nice automatically make a guy a wuss?
Why do you obsess over pubic hair? I realize the media makes a big deal over what you do down there, but honestly, most guys don’t care about it nearly as much as you do. Sure, we all have our preferences, but it’s not a deal-breaker if your trim style doesn’t match what we like. Wear it how you want to wear it; we’re not there for the hairstyle.
Razor stubble: yea or nay? And aren’t you sick of seeing guys with Van Dyke beards?
Why don’t you believe men when they show you or even tell you they aren’t interested? He called you for two weeks, you had sex, now he’s MIA. It’s not rocket science.
Is height really that important? Would you not date a guy just because he’s short? What about really tall guys, like 6’5″ or taller? Does a guy have to be taller than you for you to date him?
Why do you think you can judge a guy’s penis size when it is flaccid? You’ve heard of “growers” and “showers,” right? Famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that shorter flaccid dongs tend to gain about twice as much length as longer flaccid ones. The truth: a vast majority of penises (anywhere from 78-90%, depending on whom you believe) are about the same size when erect.
Besides, does size really matter? Some say yes, some say no. Some say longer is better, some say wider is better. Some say too big is painful, some say too small is pointless. What’s a guy to believe? (Not that he can do anything about it either way.)
If we know you’re PMS, and you know you’re PMS, why do you get angry if we say you’re PMS? We hear what you’re saying; we just think you’re overreacting a little bit. Because you are. Why deny it?
What do you really think when a man cries? “Oh, he’s so sensitive”? Or “God, what a wuss”?
Why don’t you initiate sex more often? Afraid of rejection? Welcome to our world. If you want some, why not come and get it? You won’t be rejected very often, trust me.
Why are many of you attracted to older men? Is it the maturity? The security? Or do they remind you of Daddy?
Why do you underestimate the power of boobies? Yes, you do — even those of you who think you are fully aware of the power of boobs. You aren’t. A little bit of cleavage has power beyond your comprehension.
What is the appeal of gay men? Almost every woman we know has at least one gay male friend. What’s the attraction? They are non-threatening? They’re just one of the girls? What?
Really, once both parties have brushed their teeth, what’s the problem with having sex first thing in the morning? You’re already late to work, so what’s another 3-5 minutes?
How can you stand getting up close and personal with a man’s junk? It’s hideous, all of it. And usually sweaty, too. Do you really enjoy it or are you just being nice?
How do you remember all these anniversaries? First date… first kiss… first time you spent the night… first Dutch oven. Does it matter? Why? Are we really supposed to remember these things, too? Why?
Why don’t you go topless more often? We wouldn’t object. Just saying…
What’s the most important characteristic you look for in a guy? Looks? Money? Sense of humor? Kindness? Lots of chest hair? Or some intangible we’re not aware of?
What’s the biggest turn-off in a guy? If you say cockiness, we don’t believe you (see Bad Boy question above).
There’s more, but we’re out of time. I’m thinking there will be a part two of this post very soon. Stay tuned.