Mystery Man

Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug. He’ll tell you that your date never called again because you talked about yourself too much or because you likely had bad breath after that bad choice of garlic knots. The stuff that comes out of his mouth will almost always come as a shock. He won't pull any punches and almost always drops out of the sky like a deus ex machina. The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right.

Recent questions answered by the Mystery Man:

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Q: I've been dating a guy I met online for a few months, and things are going really well. I never deactivated my profile, but after we started dating I stopped answering emails/talking to anyone else. I recently noticed that was still on the site as well, and online pretty often. What do i say to ask him to quit?

A: I wonder whether he's thinking that since you haven't deactivated your online profile you are still active as well. If I...

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Q: After 10 yrs, my hubby still keeps pushing to have a threesome. Now I'm pretty open-minded and do a lot for him, but I have made it clear that is one thing that will never happen. How do I make him stop bugging me about it?

A: Easy! Tell him that you will do it but that it has to be with his sister. That should shut him up. Seriously though, you...

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Q: This guy that I like recently had started texting me and started calling me "baby." After a while he told me that he liked me and I told him that I liked him, but like 30 minutes after that he implied that he was texting the wrong person. How am I supposed to know if he was or not because he has had my # forever!!

A: Ouch! That one hurts. Either the guy is an uber a-hole or you just had a very embarassing misunderstanding. If you find ...

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Q: I recently bumped into an ex and I would like to send him an email letting him know that I would like to see him again...what can I say?

A: That's a tricky one. I would send him an email consisting of the following words: "I would like to see you again." That'...

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Q: What does it mean if my boyfriend has the same birthday as my dad?

A: It means you should stop dating your dad cuz you are giving me the creeps....

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Q: If you were in a serious relationship with a girl and she told you that, eventually, she wanted to have kids AS WELL AS ADOPT, would that scare you away?

A: The short answer is, hell yeah it would scare me away. It's one thing to want to adopt kids because you are unable to ha...

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Q: The guy I'm into is great! He's funny and always lets me know what he thinks about me. Problem? He has no drivers license and no job. He's 20 years old! Should this be a deal breaker? I'm thinking it is.

A: Since it sounds like you are a shallow, vapid, materialistic person, I would agree with you that you should probably not...

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Q: I just discovered that my boyfriend has been mutually masturbating with people or just having them encourage him on chatroulette, do you consider this cheating?

A: In most cases, mutually masturbating would technically be considered "cheating," however the fact that he's also engagin...

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Q: I am the (casual) other woman and I don't have any guilt. I enjoy having a FWB even though he's in a relationship. Do I really need to stop?

A: No you really don't need to stop. Aside from one factor it sounds like an ideal situation. You guys both like casual sex...

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Q: I am very athletic and box and also, sadly, a bit accident prone so I have a lot of scratches and scars. How do men feel about a woman with a scars?

A: I personally think scars are sexy. They make a girl standout. Give her character, depth and make her much more interesti...

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Q: So, I've never been kissed. No Worries, I'm not like 34 and a cat-lady, but I would like some pointers for when it happens! Suggestions?

A: Oooh, I love a cat-lady. Wait! You mean someone who feeds cats or eats cats? Hmm. At any rate, here are 3 tips for when ...

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Q: My boyfriend keeps bringing up the fact that he wants us to get married. I've dated lots, but he hasn't. I'm the 2nd girl hes ever slept with. Is he ready to get married?

A: Honestly, he's probably not ready at all. It is very likely that he will either spend the rest of his days wishing he ha...

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Q: I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship longer than 3 months...I just lost 30 pounds and can't seem to shake the fat girl image I have in my mind. It's hard for me to approach guys or even make simple eye contact with a smile. Tips for an awkward dating gal??

A: Stick with it. There is nothing more appealing to a guy than a girl who doesn't know she's hot. Now you don't say how at...

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Q: Is it ever OK to sleep with a guy on the first date? We have been building a flirty friendship for a couple of weeks and are finally going out. I am really hot for this guy. We are both in our late 30s, so its not like we're young and inexperienced, but I don't know if sleeping with him now is too soon.

A: It is absolutely okay to sleep with someone on a first date. Anyone who tells you that it makes you loose or slutty or a...

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Q: I really like one of my roommates but I didn't want to risk things getting weird in the apartment so I never said anything.In a month i'm leaving the country for a year and have started to think I will regret not telling him how I really feel. Should I keep my feelings to myself or just tell him?

A: What are you crazy? Tell him! If you don't you may regret not doing so for the rest of your life. Seriously! Since you a...

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Q: i see sex as a very intimate activity. my bf and i were broken up at the time and he had sex with another girl and he told me it was just sex. no more than that. is that possible? guys don't get attached? how can i understand what he's talking about?

A: Oh yes, very possible! Guy's are very good at having sex with no emotional attachments whatsoever. I think this is the r...

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Q: my husband wants "alone" time should i be worried or not

A: This really depends on what he's doing during "alone" time. If by alone he means hanging out with a hooker and an eight ...

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Q: Are guys disgusted with arm/leg/under arm hair?

A: Yes, it's totally gross. Nothing worse than putting your hands on a girl's leg only to find that she is half female and ...

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Q: I'll be in the army for the next 6 years. My boyfriend says he will wait for me. Do you think he will?

A: When you say "wait for me" you don't say where. Does it mean he won't see you for six years because you'll be deployed t...

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Q: I am a guy, but after reading 10 or so of your answers you seem like a very . . . insightful man. So, can you tell answer this for me? Is it true that the nice guy never gets the girl. If so, why? And how can I change to not have this happen, but also not be a dick?

A: Who says flattery won't get you anywhere? I agree the Mystery Man is rather insightful. As with most questions of this n...

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Q: I can't stand how people dislike your advice. I think you're honest and to the point! So would you say that if a black girl, with a little more to love but had a great personality, asked you out you might say yes?

A: It's strange. You ask a guy who is supposed to give you blunt, truthful and direct answers to your questions and then be...

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Q: I just moved to a brand new city across the country where I don't know ANYONE. Will a guy think I'm weird since I don't have any friends? I'm freaking about how I'm going to meet anyone, let alone find someone cute to explore the city with. Help!

A: match.com...

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Q: Should I be offended if a guy can't get it up? He said he had been drinking, but I'm taking his softness a little hard.

A: Even though this question has been answered a thousand times before, I will respond one last time since yours included a...

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Q: My boyfriend expects lots of blow jobs...whats the average amount a guy should get a week?

A: Hmm, so your boyfriend expects lots of blow jobs. That's actually pretty novel. I mean I expect bjs for breakfast every ...

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Q: I'm an Asian girl and lately guys I meet say they have "yellow fever." Should I be creeped out by guys that have "yellow fever" or have some weird Asian fetish? I get everyone has their types but still! Something's wrong with them if they identify with "yellow fever" right?

A: I completely disagree. Just as some black girls prefer white guys or some Asian guys prefer Jewish girls, some white guy...

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Q: My boyfriend's sweet most of the time, but he has a habit of calling out all of my flaws (didn't shave my legs, hair's a mess). Why does he keep doing this? It really bothers me.

A: Either he's a budding stylist or he has problems with his own self-image and self-esteem. Usually when someone constantl...

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Q: How do I ask my boyfriend if he prefers pubic hair or no pubic hair on me?

A: This is not really a question that you would want to ask. You are better off just displaying the goods both ways, with a...

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Q: Does it bother guys when a girl is extremely perverse and crude?? For some reason I am like this and I sometimes tend to talk crudely like a guy would and I was wondering if it could be a turn off??

A: While most guys will pretend that they like a crude girl, the fact is they usually don't. Without getting into a whole a...

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Q: Pierced nipples. What do guys think of them on a girl? Are they hot or slutty? Also, if we're gonna go for it is having only one done weird or kinky?

A: I happen to think pierced nipples are one of the nastiest things a woman can do to her body. Boobs a la carte are perfec...

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Q: My boyfriend has no interest in oral sex, giving and receiving. I personally love both, how do I get him or help him to change his mind?

A: [note: it looks like panama answered the same question here, http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/my-boyfriend-has-no-interes...

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Q: is it true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?

A: Yes or through his penis. Either will usually do the trick....

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Q: He's just staring at my boobs from across the room isn't he? How do I make it so he stares at my face?

A: Yes, he is staring at your boobs. If you put them back inside your shirt, he will have nothing left to stare at but your...

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Q: I recently told a guy i was dating i was a virgin and HE DUMPED ME! Are guys normally put off by virgins?

A: No, guys are not put off by virgins at all. On the contrary, virgins are pretty highly-rated. One of the greatest qualit...

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Q: my boyfriend told me he had sex with a gay friend of his in the past, that it happened a few times but he was always drunk, didn't like it, afterwards felt disgusted & would run to shower (he was always the "top" in case you're wondering) i appreciate his honesty he promises me he's not gay, but i still feel uncomfortable.

A: Your boyfriend is gay or at the least bi-sexual. Any other possibility is an impossibility. The fact that he only felt d...

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Q: i think eating boogers is kinky... is that something guys would be willing to try, or not? almost everyone i've been with thinks it's over the line.

A: Every once in awhile I get a question where I don't have the expertise to address it properly. Guyspeak users, what do y...

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Q: why do guys just text to ask a girl out instead of calling? is this a "game" thing? i understand that we are in the getting to know you stage, but it may just be better to call a person to be able to talk and get to know each other better, instead of texting where a lot of communication is lost.

A: Dudes are cowards. If a guy is calling you to ask you out, he is praying that you don't pick up and he can go right to v...

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Q: Been in a friends with benefits for two years. Problem, I developed feelings and told him. He says he's ok with it but not ready for a relationship now. He says we are "single" but when I opened a Facebook page and started talking to other guys, he's acting jealous....what does this mean?

A: It means that he had initially hoped to keep messing around with you while still looking for something better. He didn't...

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Q: I recently got completely f***ed in the a** by my ex. I'll set it up for you- naturally in a relationship you reveal your insecurities. He was VERY insecure, and I was CONSTANTLY reassuring him that it was all in his head. He then used that self-confidence(I GAVE HIM) to find other women to f***. Ummm yeah, WTF????

A: Wow, that's a gruesome tale. This is the greatest fear someone has when their partner says things like, "Honey, I want t...

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Q: Why do partners have sex during the woman's period?

A: This is a very good question and I will tell you the possible answers: 1) Because the partner's are very horny, so horny...

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Q: i am attracted to my boss. kept the company ethics while i was there by not dating a fellow staff and boss, i am no more working in this company and still can't get over him. what should i do? should i let him know i love him?

A: Congratulations to you on keeping to your ethics at your old job. A lot of people say they don't date at their jobs, but...

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Q: I recently had a drunken one night stand with a guy. I regret it greatly now, especially since I started to think that I contracted and STD. I asked the guy afterwards whether he had one, he told me "no, definitely not." Can I trust him on this?

A: You SHOULD definitely trust him on this. You definitely should NOT seek medical attention to assess this, as I'm sure yo...

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Q: Why would a guy claim he's not into you or a relationship but then do things like invite you over for dinner, and hang out with you on a regular basis, especially when he knows that you would like to have a relationship with him?

A: He's angling for a friends with benefits situation. He's doing all of the boyfriend/girlfriend things with you and insis...

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Q: Will a guy feel a sort of connection with his girlfriend if she gets pregnant with his kid?

A: I would hope a guy would feel more than a "sort of connection" with the mother of his child. However, if you are trying ...

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Q: Is there a chance working it out with a guy who constantly lies, or should i give up?

A: Give up! Once a liar, always a liar. Since you've discovered your partner is a pathological liar, there is really nothin...

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Q: Whats your position on telling potential hook ups that you have a strain of high risk HPV?

A: First, my advice to you in general is to avoid "hookups" just as you would avoid a plague. This isn't the 1890s, there a...

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Q: Am I a slut if I flirted with a different guy when I have a boyfriend?

A: While you may well be a slut (if such a thing even exists), it's not because you flirted with another guy while you have...

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Q: My ex would always bother me about having sex, but I told him I wouldn't even think about it until after marriage. After about 5 months he says he's just lost interest and we broke up. I'm just curious as to if he really cared or if he got tired of trying to get sex from me. What do you think?

A: He was probably thinking that he would break your will and that you would eventually give in to having sex. Apparently y...

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Q: In the past few months I've gone out with two guys both attractive, seemingly stable guys. We are having a nice time at dinner, then he says "I've just met my future wife." WE JUST MET! LOL. Then when I tell them I'm not interested in casual sex.....that's the last I hear from them. What is that about?

A: Sounds like you came within inches of getting played on both fronts. Kudos! It's amazing that women don't realize the le...

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Q: There is this guy that I like and I mean really, really like. He is married..but i still like him a lot. He doesn't know that I like him but he has told some of my friends that if he could he would have me. Usually I would be against this kind of stuff but in this case I don't care at all. What can i do to make it happen?

A: Courting someone who is married is no different than courting someone who is unattached. Just keep up whatever it is you...

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Q: my boyfriend keeps bugging me about having a threesome. i find it weird and to me its kind of a form of cheating. should i be worried about this, especially because he says he wants to do that with his ex and me?

A: It sounds like your boyfriend is reaching for the stars on this one. The whole threesome thing, while it sounds awesome ...

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Q: Do guys really care what girls look like "down there?" I don't mean in regards to waxing or shaving, but things that can't be changed without vagina surgery.

A: For the most part, no. They could care less what it looks like down there except, as you pointed out, for grooming. Then...

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Q: When a guy says "I love you", what does it mean?

A: It means he has very strong feelings for you....

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Q: A guy I recently started dating is in law school and is studying for an oral presentation this week. Would it be appropriate to bring him lunch/dinner to his house one day this week or would that be too much since we recently started dating?

A: This is an excellent idea. A lot of the questions we get here on Guyspeak.com fall along the lines of "How can i get so ...

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Q: Im 21, I'm sexy as hell, with a great personality, I have no emotional baggage what so ever! so my question is why wont anybody at work ask me out why do they choose the ugly needy girls at work instead of me? It's so backwards........

A: Sometimes Guyspeak users answers the questions they are asking through the question itself. You sound like you have seri...

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Q: How do i get my best friend to stay in love with me? I'm a girl and she's a girl but our religion is against homosexual relations so now she's starting to feel guilty. So how do i get her back?

A: There are a few things you can do to get your best friend/lover to stay in love with you: 1) Switch religions or congreg...

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Q: I messed around with a SUPER drunk guy. He got it up but couldn't get off no matter what! Was it because of me or the drinks?

A: It was definitely because of the drinks. If he wasn't able to perform at all, it could have been because of you or the a...

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Q: My 21 yr old husband (i'm 20) said out of anger (he claims) that he looks at porn because I'm unattractive and have gained weight. It is constantly on my mind and even though he apologized and said he didn't mean it I feel like he does. What do I do?

A: Unfortunately, you are in for a rocky ride on this one. When people talk about waiting to get married until they are old...

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Q: What is the real reason why men hit women and why do they always say I'm sorry or it's your fault. Will they ever stop hitting?

A: The real reason is that dudes who do this are dickheads with tiny peckers who hate themselves so much and feel so weak i...

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Q: Me and my ex have been fighting for a while because I started to fall for another guy that I used to like a couple years ago. I still like him to this day. I broke up with him cause I fell in love with the other guy and not him. My question is "What do i do about my ex and should i stay friends with him?

A: The best thing you can do is cut your boyfriend off -- at least for a while. He either hates your guts because you broke...

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Q: What does it mean when a guy tells you he likes you then ignores you the very next day??

A: It means he's either a shrewd customer who knows exactly how to make a girl really like him, he was lying to you or he c...

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Q: The guy I'm dating recently told me he's had sexual fantasies about his sister. Is this normal or am I dating a total psychopath?

A: I could try to deal with this one but it goes so far out of my expertise that I say we let the Guyspeak readers answer y...

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Q: On a date, do guys prefer jeans or a dress? hair up or hair down?

A: A guy typically does not care what you wear on a date as long as you look good. If it means wearing jeans, a skirt, a pi...

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Q: My husband says he doesn't ever think about another women naked ....Is that true???

A: He lies....

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Q: My ex was IN LOVE with me and i felt a little too clustered so i dumped him and for a while he would come back and then he just stopped, now i miss him like crazy & he's hanging with other girls and he seems just fine like he doesn't even care , what do i do ?

A: The truth is, the only reason why you still give a crap about this guy is because other girls are attracted to him and y...

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Q: Do guys really find bisexual girls hot? I mean, I'm bisexual but don't see what the big deal is when guys start panting like dogs when they learn that I have a girlfriend.

A: Guys love bisexual girls! The math is simple, a girl who likes girls but also likes guys may at some point have an inter...

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Q: Met a friend of a friend, hung out and he called me almost every night. After a little more than a month we finally kissed. The calls and hanging out stopped after that night. I am confused. Why is he avoiding me?

A: Could be a lot of different things. Here are some questions to ask yourself: 1) Bad breath. Do you have halitosis, bleed...

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Q: If you see a girl who is a flat-out 10 (on a scale of hotness), but she's with a girl who's a 6 or maybe 7, would you still talk to her/hit on her? And if you did, would there be any chance you would go out of your way to talk to the 6 or just ignore her?

A: Mystery Man happens to think 6s and 7s are pretty good catches as they tend to be decent looking girls with good persona...

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Q: If my boyfriend has had sex with his ex since we've been together and says its nothing it will never happen again but they still text and say they love each other does it mean he's still sleeping with her?

A: He's not necessarily sleeping with her now, but there is a very good chance it will happen again. The thing is, guys ten...

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Q: Me & my husband just got married, but he is a virgin & I'm not (I have a 3 yr old... which he loves like his own). I want to have sex, but, he told me he is scared that he will suck (we are 23) and he thinks something is wrong with him. How do i get him to relax, so we can have an intimate and great experience?

A: If he is truly a virgin then the first several times are probably going to be great for him but total duds for you. In o...

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Q: What is the male opinion on lip piercings? I am thinking about getting the side of my lip pierced and want to know if guys will think i'm easy or if it would deter a man?

A: I'm getting a lot of these types of questions lately. Can't really answer for all males on this one, but Mystery Man thi...

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Q: My husband has cheated on me twice in 2 years, he has also stayed in contact with his x g/f , i just recently found this all out he would stay gone all hrs of the night sometimes never coming home, he told me he wants to change i said we'll take it day by day, he started disappearing again 3 days ago whats he thinking?

A: He's thinking that he's leading a charmed life. He's thinking that he can have his cake and eat it too. He's thinking th...

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Q: If I'm fat (not morbidly obese, but chunky) is there any way that a guy will be able to see past that..ever?

A: Hell yeah! A lot of dudes love chunk. Look at Snooki from The Jersey Shore, she probably scores more guys than you could...

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Q: Okay so here is a good ol' "insecure woman" kind of a question, will a guy make out with a girl if he doesn't want to? Like if he felt sorry for her or she initiated it?

A: The truth of the matter is most guys (if they are single) will do just about anything with most women at any time, even ...

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Q: Hey there mystery guy, so I'm getting married next week and I told my boy friend that I was virgin but I really ain't what should I do???????????????

A: Kegels....

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Q: Do men like it when a woman reads magazines such as Cosmo? Or do men just wish women wouldn't follow magazines as if it were their "bible"?

A: Men like women who read the bible. Best example Jessica Simpson--totally hot and a bible-beater too. Women who read Cosm...

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Q: How do you get your boyfriend to quit or cut back on smoking?

A: If your boyfriend is more interested in you sexually/emotionally than smoking, any one of the below should do the trick:...

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Q: Does it matter to guys if girls have a little bit of a tummy??

A: Depends on what you mean by "little." Some girls have a total inability to judge their own bodies, like when you see a g...

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Q: My husband's high school reunion is coming up and he doesn't want me to go because he says that he won't be able to pay any attention to me. His reunion is not like a lot of reunions, it's at a hotel and casino. They are also having a pool party, should I be really upset about him not wanting me to go?

A: I wouldn't be upset about him not wanting you to go, but I would be upset about the fact that he's probably going to end...

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Q: What do you think of body piercings, like a nipple ring or a clit piercing?

A: Nipple rings, clitoris piercings and such kind of turn Mystery Man's stomach. What ever happened to the good old fashion...

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Q: How can i get over the vengeful feelings i have for my ex?

A: The best way to get over vengeful feelings is to act on them. Don't do anything that will land you in jail like killing ...

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Q: Cheating is horrible, but do you think cheating by giving oral or having sex is worse? My boyfriend seems to think oral is more personal and hurtful. I think it's minor and sex means more.

A: I would definitely agree with your boyfriend. Oral sex is way more personal and thus more hurtful. However, I think men ...

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Q: I'm ridiculously horny right now. Besides sex, what's a good cure?

A: If i'm reading your question correctly you are looking for ways to stop feeling so "ridiculously horny." There are a few...

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Q: My ex and I still hook up and act couple-y. He tells me that he wants me to get over him but he still sticks around. Why?

A: Your ex is looking for what most men (at least in some point in their life) are looking for, that is a no-hassle hookup....

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Q: If you're a virgin but the guy doesn't know will he be able to tell that you are the first time you have sex with him? Or is it possible he wont even notice?

A: It's possible he won't notice, especially if he's color blind and confuses the blood that will most likely make an appea...

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Q: A guy who tells me every day he loves me adores me wants to take care of me and wants to marry me do you think he is committed to me?

A: No doesn't sound like he's committed enough. You should have him cut off his left nut and bury it under a tree. If that'...

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Q: When your husband tells you he doesn't want to have a baby with you should u take it personally?

A: Yes and no. How's that for an answer? If he tells you he doesn't want to have a baby ever, for any reason, then no you s...

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Q: Where is a good place to meet guys? I am over the gross guys I have met out at bars or clubs, you just don't find worthwhile guys, just guys that want ass. Do you have any suggestions of how to meet good relationship type guys?

A: Hands down best place . . . airport bar. Why? Because this environment attracts the most diverse set of guys in the worl...

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Q: Why do men prefer high maintenance, gorgeous women over easy going, attractive women?

A: The same reason they like expensive cars, fancy homes and the very latest electronic gadgets-- it's to show off. The rea...

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Q: I was with a guy for two years. Towards the end of the relationship, I cheated on him because I felt like he wasn't there for me, at all. When he found out, we broke up, and he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, even when I apologized and begged for him back. I learned my lesson about cheating... Should I move on?

A: Yes, you should move on. Next time, before you decide to screw around on your boyfriend, be sure to break up with him fi...

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Q: I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and every time i tell a guy that, they get this freaked out look on their face. Is it really that intimidating?

A: On the contrary it's awesome! I find it surprising that the guys you are telling this to are freaked out. Perhaps you ar...

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Q: Is it true that when a man walks into a room, scoping out the place for the hottest woman is done in a matter of seconds, or at least "rating" them? If that is true, is it every time a man walks into a room?

A: Not surprisingly, most women don't know that is is absolutely true. You must have a good male friend who clued you into ...

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Q: Recently I've become an atheist but I haven't told my mother and my family in general. Everyone expects me to go to church with them but I hate to! What should I do?

A: Congratulations on your assertiveness on this topic. A lot of people, when they no longer believe in any god, claim that...

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Q: I absolutely hate anal. It's not even a discussion I'll have. But at the same time, I *love* going down on guys. I actually like giving oral better than getting it. Do you think most men will see this as a fair trade-off?

A: Oh yes, very fair! If the trade off you were offering was spooning, long discussions about your relationship or a trip t...

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Q: My boyfriend is upset with me, but he keeps saying he's "not mad." He obviously is, because he's being short with me. He will call me just to not talk to me! How do I get him to stop pouting and communicate with me like an adult?

A: Ironically the best way to get this guy to start talking and act like an adult is to treat him like a little baby. Stop ...

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Q: I'm in a new relationship and was wondering about the first time we sleep together. I don't know his past in that area, but I wanted to know how I can be exciting in bed without appearing slutty?

A: Seems to me sluttyness is in the air as just I answered a similar question earlier today. At any rate, the good news is ...

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Q: How can a girl be sexually active, not necessarily in relationships, and avoid being considered a slut? I know you'll be blunt, but I love sex and being with guys...finding boyfriend material is kinda difficult. I don't want to be considered easy or a slut...can I have my cake and eat it too? Thanks!

A: The answer to this one is much easier than you might think: Be discreet, and make sure you find guys who will be too. An...

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Q: We only have had one heavy make out session so far. Is it horribly mean to give a guy an erection but not help him out?

A: I think the technical description of what you are talking about is giving a guy "blue balls." There is absolutely nothin...

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Q: I'm 18 and my mom recently got remarried to a 25 year old HOTTIE....I've been sleeping with him for the past 3 months. I really want to keep "bangin" but it's so wrong. What do i do?

A: Although the situation you describe sounds quite challenging, you have several options: 1) Run off with with the guy--th...

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Q: How do I tell the guy I've been dating (a little over 2 months) that I want us to have sex more often? Right now, we see each other about 1-2 times a week, and we don't have sex EVERY time we see each other. I would just like that number to increase, but I'm not sure how to bring it up.

A: You don't have to say anything at all. Whenever you want it, just grab the guy and show him in in a physical way what yo...

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Q: My boyfriend got mad at me because I go tanning, he thinks I'm killing myself, and is now furious with me and is holding a grudge. What can I do to make it up to him? Or at least get him to talk to me?

A: Easy--stop tanning! Tanning will do three things for you, 1) turn you into a disgusting, leathery, tea bag; 2) help you ...

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Q: I'm having trouble being faithful. I'm with a deflowered by me virgin right now, and he's great, but I want more. He's not the most well endowed either. I have feelings for him, and don't want to hurt him. My mind is a wandering though. How do I keep myself interested and monogamous?

A: Based on what your saying, the short answer is you probably can't keep yourself interested and monogamous, so it might b...

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Q: If you're a virgin and your boyfriend has had sex do you think he'll cheat on you ?

A: I would say there is a very good chance that your boyfriend will seek sex elsewhere should you continue to hold on to yo...

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Q: I recently moved in with my boyfriend. I like to sleep in the nude, and he seems to enjoy this as well. But, it's starting to get a little out of hand. I'll wake up to find him staring at my chest, sucking on my nipples, or rubbing my breasts. Don't get me wrong, it's enjoyable. But how can I tell him it's too much?

A: Sounds like your boyfriend is kinda creepy. I mean, don't you find waking up to someone staring at your boobs, and sucki...

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Q: What is the best way to seduce my best friend into bed? (i'm a woman and he's a guy) N.B. I don't care if I should or shouldn't do this: I want to, regardless.

A: First off, I have to applaud you on the fact that you don't care about repercussions and issues and all those other sill...

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Q: The other day i walked in on my bf letting our dog lick his penis. My question is how do i confront him without shaming him? Does this mean he's into animals? Should I dress up like puppy next time we're intimate?

A: Your boyfriend is either into bestiality or just uses your dog as his preferred method of cleaning his body. In other wo...

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Q: Can guys feel a girl's boobs when they hug? Is that why guys are always giving me hugs? Also, what's the deal with a side hug. Those are awful.

A: Yes a guy can feel a girl's boobs when he hugs a girl but it's not a classic 'cop a feel' maneuver, such as stopping sho...

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Q: From your mysterious male opinion, what reasons seem justified for getting a divorce? Specifically, I am wondering if a serial liar counts, someone you don't trust.

A: No mystery here. I would say that's about the number one justification one could have for seeking a divorce. Some spouse...

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Q: Are guys intimidated by a pretty woman (pretty decent bod too) with a 3.7 GPA, an array of artistic interests/social circles, a job, well as landing a very competitive internship. Not to mention the internship involved a lot of studies on being great in bed.

A: Guys aren't necessarily intimidated by beautiful women who are extremely accomplished. In fact, this can be a turn on to...

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Q: Ok, so if an ex-boyfriend doesn't kiss you when you try because you're drunk, does that mean he's not interested at all anymore?

A: There are three possible reasons why this happened to you: 1) It means you have gone so far beyond sexual interest to yo...

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Q: I am over 100 pounds more than my husband who is in the military. He always insists that I'm perfect and he loves me and he says I'm hot. But I don't believe him. I've always been self conscious. Why does he think fat is attractive?

A: Why do you care that your husband finds fat attractive? The fact is he likes the fatties and you clearly sound like one....

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Q: how do i get my boyfriend to stop asking for anal?

A: Very good question. Here is a list of several things you can do to get him to stop asking for anal sex: 1) Stop giving i...

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Q: Do men even notice things on women like nice arms or a nice back? I spend a lot of time working out those areas.

A: The answer is yes and no. The thing is guys do not notice these areas unless there is something wrong with them. So, whi...

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Q: I'm married w/ 2 kids, I love my husband, but I talk to guys online, and send and receive dirty pics. Is this really cheating to a guy?

A: Oh yes, this is cheating. You are a very naughty girl. Then again in your favor, you say you are only sending dirty pix ...

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Q: How do I help a guy fall out of love with me, aside from not hanging out anymore, but still maintaining a friendship?

A: I would be curious to know what our Guyspeak.com readers think, but, from my perspective here are eight things you can d...

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Q: There is this guy and he keeps giving me mixed signals, he stares at me a lot but acts like a total asshole, how do i know if he likes me?

A: Oh, he likes you. He definitely likes you. This is the classic mating ritual of man. It goes back to the playground days...

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Q: I have been seeing this guy for 12 yrs and we have a 2 year old kid together and now he got married 1 year ago but he was cheating with me before and after they got married. What does that mean?

A: It means that you have a very good shot at getting on either the Jerry Springer or Maury Povich shows or both. Here are ...

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Q: I slept with this guy cause I really like him. He knows that I like him and he tells me he isn't ready for a relationship yet. How do I get him ready for one??

A: Stop having sex with him. Tell him you are only interested in a long-term relationship, which will include sex, of cours...

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Q: True or false: Guys like waiting to get the goodies? I've been seeing a dude for maybe three weeks (pretty much every day) and haven't slept with him yet. I want him to REALLY want it. Is this a good path to take?

A: Eureka! Finally someone is getting it. Yes, make him wait until his balls turn smurf blue and come close to falling off....

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Q: How do I know if a guy likes me? What are the signals?

A: It's amazing how many times this question comes in, and I think the confusion has to do with the way the female psyche w...

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Q: Would it bother most guys if a woman had one breast a cup size smaller than the other?

A: That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I wouldn't worry about that at all. As I pointed out here, most bodies are ver...

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Q: Do guys ever think about the girls they've wronged? For instance: I was dating a guy for a couple of months, everything was great. It's been 3 weeks and bam, no communication, plans, texts, calls, zip. Do guys ever think of THAT?

A: No, he certainly doesn't think about her feelings. After a guy bails on a girl he only thinks about either or both of th...

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Q: What do guys honestly think about girls who are virgins in their early 20s? Is it a total turn-off? Do they think they're prude? I can't help but feel insecure about it, even if I haven't found the right person to share that experience with.

A: Let's see disease free with a solid reputation. Sounds pretty good on paper, however, I wouldn't be too worried about wh...

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Q: How often do guy's think about sex, when they are 15?

A: When a guy is 15 he thinks about two things: 1) Sex. 2) Ways to get sex. There are no exceptions to this rule, unless th...

Continue reading: "How often do guy's think about sex, when they are 15?" »

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Q: What is the first thing guys look for in women?

A: In no particular order: 1) Boobs. 2) Face. 3) Butt. 4) Legs. 5) Height. 6) Teeth. 7) Nose. 8) Hair. 9) Cheeks. 10) Feet....

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Q: Do guys actually get paranoid about being a virgin's "first"?

A: Yes, they get very paranoid. That's a LOT of pressure. Imagine if you gave someone their first slice of pizza and it was...

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Q: I absolutely hate rubbing lotion on my boyfriend's back and he always gets upset that I refuse to do it. But just yesterday his roommate rubbed lotion on my bf's back right in front of me. It totally looked gay and I felt uncomfortable. Is this normal?

A: It sounds like your boyfriend's need to have lotion rubbed on his back has turned him gay. The big question is why do yo...

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Q: After a "booty call" are you supposed to kiss them?

A: Depends on whether you consider yourself a prostitute or not. If so, then you probably shouldn't kiss the guy, as hooker...

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Q: I gained 40 lbs from having my 2nd son. I want to do kickboxing classes but my husband says i shouldn't. What is he really saying? Keep in mind i used to weigh 130 lbs.

A: Unless you are really, really, tall your husband is a classic chubby chaser. He likes a woman with a lot of meat on her ...

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Q: When you ask your boyfriend if he cheated on you with a certain person or cheated at all, and he starts snapping saying why would he ever do that and how mad he is at me for asking him, and that I should know better, Does that mean he has cheated?

A: Yes, definitely. If he was innocent why else would he get so upset? There are two sure ways of knowing if someone has ch...

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Q: Is it possible for a friends with benefits to become more?

A: There is only one way for friends with benefits to become something more and it requires becoming something less first. ...

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Q: My boyfriend talks about how other girls are hot. I play it off, but it really bothers me. What do I do?

A: Easy. Start talking about how other guys are hot. Talk about their body parts, butt, bulge--all that. Go on and and on a...

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Q: What do guys think of push-up bras?

A: An absolute outrage! What do girls think of men who stuff cucumbers down their pants? Same thing. These push-up bras sho...

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Q: If a guy say's that he is not looking to be in a relationship and then start's dating another girl.....what does that mean?

A: It means one of two things: a) He wasn't interested in you. or b) He was interested in you only as far as hooking up wit...

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Q: Dude, if a guy has sex with a lot of women... should i go out with him?

A: Yes, you should go out with him. It means he's very experienced, which is good because guys with only a few sexual partn...

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Q: I hooked up with a traveling guy in September, good connection blah blah. We decided to cut things off "as friends". He's planning to come back to my town in February. Will he be coming back with the expectation of having sex with me on this second visit?

A: You can 100% count on it. A guy considers you "his" forever, even if he's only had you once. Once a conquest is complete...

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Q: How can I tell when a guy is horny?

A: Signs: 1) He will attempt to kiss you. 2) He will attempt to take off your clothes. 3) He will do his best to insert his...

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Q: Got any recommendations for a gay woman considering men?

A: Seems to me, you aren't a gay women if you date men. Hmm, unless of course there is a new loophole that Mystery Man is u...

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Q: I hate, hate, hate receiving oral. It doesn't do a thing for me, but it seems men love to give it. I love to give oral, however. Should I just pretend I'm enjoying it and deal, or tell him his mouth is not allowed near my southern region?

A: This is clearly a bizarro world question and stands in direct contrast to this recently asked question. What world do yo...

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Q: When do girls go from possible gf material to being in the friend zone?

A: Going from girlfriend material to friend zone can happen in the blink of an eye, not unlike the interest a man shows in ...

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Q: If a guy says, "Let's go out again. When are you free?" but you haven't heard from him when you tell him when you're free, is it worth checking in to see what's up?

A: Here's what's really happening--the guy is putting you on the shelf as a backup plan. He likes you enough to want to hoo...

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Q: This guy I've been talking to (we've been hot then cold for over 2 years) deleted me off Facebook after I found out he has a girlfriend, and I called him out for cheating on her. Should I call him and figure out why he always shuts me out of his life?

A: This depends on what you seek to gain from this call. If you feel that someone who had a relationship with you despite t...

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Q: Ok I've been talking to this guy for about 2 weeks. We've been texting and every night he says "goodnight," sometimes he'll add loser or some joke made in a previous text, but last night he said "good night lady friend." Should i take this as a good sign?

A: No, this is a terrible sign. Dudes are simple but can sometimes send confusing signals. If he is normally sweet to you t...

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Q: Ok, so I saw this movie "He's not that into you" and it really opened my eyes about a lot of stuff, but now I want to know how do you guys act if you are really into a girl? How can we know?

A: Easy: 1) They text you. 2) They email you. 3) They call you. 4) They want to make plans with you. 5) They act like they ...

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Q: How big does my mouth have to be before guys will be attracted to me?

A: This is a really interesting question in that it's impossible to tell whether you mean physically or verbally. Here are ...

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Q: My boyfriend of three years keeps promising he'll stop lying to me and sneaking around behind my back. He hasn't. I keep giving him chance after chance but I get nothing. Will he ever stop disregarding my feelings and hurting me?

A: The answer is yes and no. He will eventually stop hurting you but, sadly, it's only after you have broken up with him. M...

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Q: Okay I'm dating a married man...he talks so bad about his wife, I've met her she seems horrible. They've been married for 7 yrs and have 4 kids. Am i wasting my time with him?

A: This really depends on what you consider wasting time. Maybe someday he will divorce his wife and marry you. Then soon a...

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Q: Do Guys Like Skinny Jeans on Women?

A: Guys love skinny jeans on women, however, most guys do not like skinny jeans on fat women. You really want to take a lon...

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Q: I am dating a great guy the problem is I am worried to tell him that I have burn scars all over my body. How do I tell him? Will I lose him if I tell him? Do men not like women with scars?

A: Believe it or not, scars can be very sexy. The thing is, although all bodies are different and unique, they tend to foll...

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Q: How do you get a guy to like you?

A: This one is really easy. Act like you don't like him for long enough for him to fall head over heels in love with you. R...

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Q: If you're dating a girl you really like, and she tells you she wants to wait until after she's married to have sex, is that an automatic deal breaker for you?

A: This is an absolute deal breaker and I would advice against this course of action. While it can be a good idea to wait t...

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Q: I think I hate my husband. We have a kid and I want to be divorced so badly. But I worry about my kid. It has gotten to the point where I can barely fake liking him anymore. I am just sick about what to do and how it will effect our child someday.

A: Let's see, stick with your husband, whom you hate and "fake" that you like, and screw your kid up for life because when ...

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Q: If a guy keeps staring at you and then when you look looks away, does that mean that he likes you?

A: Yes! It means he loves you. It seems you have stumbled on the secret mating rituals of man. Other clues: If you look at ...

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Q: Whats it mean if a guy refers to a girl he's going out with as this girl I'm talking to. Shouldn't he say this girl I'm dating?

A: Sounds like there is a lot of ambiguity in this relationship. You start off by saying you believe you are "going out" bu...

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Q: Where are all the good men hiding? I live in NYC and they're definitely not here. They're either married, gay or both and have too many options available to them in this city.

A: The sad truth is that there are plenty of single, straight, available men in the city who sleep alone on a nightly basis...

Continue reading: "Where are all the good men hiding?" »

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Q: If your girlfriend asked you nicely, would you go to a Halloween party dressed as ketchup and mustard? You could choose which of the two you wanted to be...

A: Definitely ketchup, if only so that the blood, which would surely flow from the beating Mystery Man would be justifiably...

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Q: I hada threesome with my boyfriend and another guy. The other guy was much bigger than my boyfriend, and I got a little carried away.My boyfriend is small, but I had gotten over it. He wasn't happy with my admiration for the other guy's member...

A: This is an easy one: Tell small-fry that you need to have a serious conversation with him. Sit him down and immediately ...

Continue reading: "I hada threesome with my boyfriend and another guy." »

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Q: So this girl [friend of a friend] emailed me and wants to "get some coffee and catch up." Thing is, I don't really know her. She's seen my rock band once years ago, and I've helped her with college grants [my job], but that's it. Feels awkward.

A: Dude, score!!! If a girl emails you out of the blue and she's seen you play in a band, there is a more than 95% chance t...

Continue reading: "So this girl [friend of a friend] emailed me and wants to "get some coffee and catch up." Thing is, I don't really know her. " »

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Q: How important are big boobs? Is it true that all you need is a handful? Would you rather have a hot girl with small real ones or big fake ones?

A: The boobs must be real. I reiterate the boobs must be real. While there are some guys who actually like fake boobs, and,...

Continue reading: "How important are big boobs?" »

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Q: Do you think there is "too" young an age to be engaged?

A: This is the easiest question Mystery Man has ever fielded and sadly the answer comes straight from your grandpa, my gran...

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Q: Hi, I'm a black woman who's open to dating all races. But I find it extra hard to figure out if non-black guys are interested. Are there any special "tactics" to use with guys of a different race to let them know they've got the green light.

A: Well, it depends.  If your looking for non-black guys to approach you, say at a bar or social event, you need to ha...

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Q: I've been married for 5 years. My husband lived on his own before we got married and supposedly took care of himself. So, why am I now turning into the "parent?" I do all the bill paying, cooking, responsible stuff.

A: The problem is that the minute you took on these roles your husband abdicated them to you. One of the laws of nature sta...

Continue reading: "I've been married for 5 years. My husband lived on his own before we got married and supposedly took care of himself. So, why am I now turning into the "parent?" I do all the bill paying, cooking, responsible stuff. He'll clean when I beg, but that's " »

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Q: Why does my boyfriend chew with his mouth open?

A: It could be that your boyfriend has an unusually large jaw, which forces him to chew with his mouth open, but, it's much...

Continue reading: "Why does my boyfriend chew with his mouth open?" »

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Q: My boyfriend keeps commenting on my weight. I know I've put on about 7 pounds I really want to lose, but his comments aren't motivating--they just upset me. How do I get this across to him?

A: The question is, why have you put on the weight? Are you drinking too many brewskies? Are you pregnant? Thyroid conditi...

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Q: This guy I am dating just told me he has experimented with men but prefers women... so am I dating a gay guy?

A: Here's the deal, regardless of what you want to call him, gay, straight, whatever, this guy will definitely cheat on you...

Continue reading: "This guy I am dating just told me he has experimented with men but prefers women... so am I dating a gay guy?" »

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