Tag: Fear

Q: GBFF. Q:my dad left my mom when she was pregnant with me. I'm 23 now and the issues are getting into my own relationship (I'm engaged): I'm terrified of being left over anything and cry uncontrollably when we argue. How do I keep my mom's fate from affecting me as much (without therapy) and how do I keep my Mr. Right?

A: What's wrong with therapy? I think that nearly everybody could stand to "sit on the couch" for a while to hash out issue...

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Q: I want to stop having sex until I am married (I am 23). I’m not particularly religious, but I am terrified of STD’s so this weighs on my decision. Do you think the guys I date from now until then will understand, especially since I have been active before?

A: The key thing here is that this is your decision, and you shouldn't be pressured to change it. You don't want to have se...

Continue reading: "Will a guy be offended if I tell him I don't want to have sex because I'm scared of STDs?" »

Q: Help, I am deathly jealous. I can't do anything with my boyfriend. We can't go out, we can't watch television, we can't play video games. I hate that everyday my boyfriend drives to work and sees billboards with slutty women on them. I feel like I'm ruining my life and his. I'm so tired that I want to kill myself.

A: Well, I'm no doctor, but the first thing I would prescribe is a giant "chill pill." As in, relax and take one. And then ...

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Q: I'm a virgin and I'm literally terrified of having sex with my boyfriend. He's not pressuring me into it, but I just really don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough with my body or anyone else to actually have sex with them. The thought of it makes me want to cry and I feel weak. How can I get over this?

A: I'm glad he's not pressuring you and respects your feelings. That's a great thing to have, especially in your situation....

Continue reading: "I'm scared of sex. Help!" »

Q: My bf will not get his license.He has access to a car but "hates driving" and says if he needs something he'll just "take a bus or something," but I end up bringing him groceries and taking him to hang with his friends.He's almost 20. It seems immature and selfish and is driving me crazy.He gets mad when I bring it up.

A: I'll tell you something. My lady doesn't drive at all. She has no license, and when she gets behind the wheel for a less...

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Q: FG, you answered a question about a BF who wont drive better for his GF who was in a car accident. But what of the rest of us who havn't been in an accident but still think our BF drives poorly? I ask mine to stop earlier at lights but he just tells me to "trust him." Is it still reasonable to demand better driving?

A: Of course it's reasonable. Your boyfriend needs to have enough common sense to understand its not about "trusting" him; ...

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Q: Dear BFF, I have been dating this guy for three months and everything has been great. A few days ago he told me I have great "long term potential". I thought "ok" , but then after he said that to me he has been missing in action (not calling or emailing). What's up? Should I move on because I don't want to get hurt?

A: You know, men and women are really emotionally and mentally stunted a lot of times when it comes to dating. And this cou...

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Q: You seem to have established yourself as the guy to answer questions regarding abuse, insecurity, and other psychological issues... why do you think this is? You seem to have a lot of information and experience with these topics.

A: I am the bluntly honest guy. Abuse, depression, insecurity all really need total honesty in the answers. Being patted on...

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Q: Cary, I need the truth. Does the constant paranoia that my significant other will die whilst we are apart ever fade? Or am I going to have to man up and deal with it? Suggestions on how I do that would be much appreciated too!

A: I can't say, because I don't know if your fear is rational or irrational. Is your guy seriously ill? Is he in the milita...

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Q: Even when I'm madly in love with someone, I still have moments or even entire days when I just don't really like him that much/am sick of him/feel like breaking up for some silly reason (none of these because I'm actually genuinely upset). I have talked to friends and they can relate. How about men? Same?

A: Welcome to adulthood. Yeah, it is exactly the same for guys too. Make sure you have some space of your own. It helps. Se...

Continue reading: "Even when I'm madly in love with someone, I still have moments or even entire days when I just don't really like him that much" »

Q: I'm dating a guy I went to high school with. I have a history of getting hurt by guys who seem genuine but then they decide they don't want a relationship anymore or aren't interested. he's sincere, and he's always been a gentleman, but I'm scared it'll end like the rest. I know he cares, how do I get over my fear?

A: Well, you are in a bit of a pickle, aren't you, and it is at least partially your own fault. The problem with a history ...

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Q: This probably sounds ridiculous but here goes. I’m scared of men. It scares me that they're bigger and stronger than I am, and can easily overpower or hurt me if they wanted to. I've never been abused or anything, so whats wrong with me?

A: I'm not sure, but that is abnormal. I won't call it ridiculous because it is real to you, but it's definitely unusual an...

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Q: How come every time I ask my boyfriend about his ex or their past relationship hi gets very mad and he doesn't want to talk about it. Does he still love her?

A: Let's not jump to conclusions. There are other reasons he might be reacting negatively to your question. It's human to e...

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