Tag: Guilt

Q: Can we talk about smoking for a minute please? My BF smokes and of course I worry about his long-term health. He tried to quit once and made it a few months. What is the role of the GF in this? Obviously supportive, but can I try to encourage him to quit again? How can I without insulting him? Self-esteem plays a part.

A: Your role in his smoking habit is the same as any other spouse, partner or girlfriend's role in any other addiction: to ...

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Q: What is an inexpensive gift I can get for the guy I'm dating that says I'm sorry with out being sappy?

A: You don't need to get him a gift to say you're sorry. It's a nice thought, but not necessary, and a bit of overkill. Thi...

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Q: I'm a 20yo girl and a student living at home while I go to university. Every time I go out and come home kind of drunk (not wasted) my mother gets real upset. My dad is pretty chill, but in general they don't want me to drink at all - or at least not get drunk. So I end up feeling really guilty every time. Should I be?

A: I don't know, do you usually feel guilty when you upset your parents? I get it: you're in college and you want to drink....

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Q: my boyfriend's family is really religious--def. no sex before marriage...except we've already done it. i think he rationalized it because he knows he wants to marry me, but i'm having second thoughts. i feel like I've taken something from him. how do I fix this?!

A: Go to Hogwarts and ask to borrow the Time Turner. Or stick out your thumb the next time you see a battered blue policebo...

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Q: WA - I broke up with my ex about a year ago. Have had no contact since. Would it be considered weird/creepy if I emailed him just to say hi? I really miss him. Not sure if I want him back as a boyfriend but I miss us just being friends. Thoughts?

A: I don't think that's a good idea. It's not weird or creepy as much as it is unfair to him. You broke up with the guy. Yo...

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Q: Are "blue balls" real? And even if they are, are they really that much of an issue for guys?

A: Here's the thing about Blue Balls, they're like the flu and migraines. Real things that are used as a catch all to  expl...

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Q: You're very culturally sensitive so I ask you: In my culture, premarital sex is a BIG no (for me not a religious thing) But I grew up here so I'm all jumbled. I feel SO guilty about sex & I'm afraid of intimacy, making dating impossible. Even guys from my culture won't wait, let alone other guys. How to fix the guilt?

A: What you feeling guilty for? Having sex, not having sex but wanting to, not wanting to have sex until marriage, not want...

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Q: My boyfriend is a truly great guy whom I care about a lot, but I am not in love with him anymore. Does a not-so-painful way to break up with him exist? I think it's utterly wrong to go on like this, yet at the same time I hate the thought of hurting him.

A: First things first: kudos on your desire to do what's right, even though it's the hard choice. By doing so you are putti...

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Q: My Husband is abusive. I want to leave but I feel so guilty. A few of years ago (before the abuse) I had a serious surgery and he was my donor. I feel as though I owe him my life (which I technically do) and that im some heartless b*tch who left the man that saved her life and risked his own. What should i do?

A: At its core this really isn't a complicated issue. Yes, your husband donated a part of himself to you, but if keeping yo...

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Q: i couldnt get pregnant after a year of trying. Ive been going crazy & thinking that something is wrong with me. i apologized to my husband many times for not being able to give him a baby. Today he told me that he is sterile & has known for years. How do I forgive him for letting me worry and feel guilty for so long?

A: Hot Lanta!, that is repulsive behavior on your husband's part. But before I scold this dirk, let me start by saying this...

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Q: My boyfriend broke up with me and told me to move on, so I did. I slept with two other guys before my boyfriend said he wanted me back. I took him back because I still love him, but now I feel guilty about everything that happened. What should I do?

A: You should let it go. You did nothing wrong. I don't really understand why you feel so guilty. The guy dumped you and to...

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Q: I'm going into my senior year of college and looking into masters programs. My bf is 23, still living at home and has never had a job. Now he is discouraging me from getting my masters 'cause he'll "miss me too much." Would a keeper really do that?

A: I doubt it. Basically he's saying that his feelings are more important than your future, and that is completely selfish....

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Q: A good friend of mine kissed me with no warning whatsoever! I have a boyfriend that I am deeply in love with and I never want to hurt him! Even though I didn't consent to this kiss, I'm feeling really guilty about it. How do I tell my boyfriend that this happened?

A: This is a really unfortunate situation, because while there will likely be fallout from doing so, I think you absolutely...

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Q: My ex and I texted for 2 months which culminated in us having sex last week (2am booty call style). He has a gf. I know it was wrong & I'm embarrassed. It was very anti-climactic. We haven't spoken since. I'm a mess and need some words of wisdom.

A: Well, you've come to the right place, because I'm the king of screwups, especially lately. So I know how you feel. Yes, ...

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Q: I love your advice! Please help me! I cheated and am completely and deeply sorry. It made me learn a lot about myself and recognize what I need to work on. What is the best way to attempt to get my guy back?

A: Oops! Hey, we all make mistakes. Cheating is bad, obviously, but at the very least you are taking responsibility for you...

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