Online dating is no longer ruled by the Match.coms and eHarmonys of the world. Niche dating is all the rage–sites for specific types of people with specific needs. Great idea, right? Yes, in theory, but I think we’re taking it a little too far now. Nine cases in point:
If you’re a mature woman looking for a young cub, welcome to Cougar Life, “the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!” The web is the cougar’s new hunting ground, the site tells us. RAWR!
“Sick of dating websites filled with ugly, unattractive, desperate fatsos?” asks Darwin Dating, a site for “beautiful people only.” If you have saggy boobs, big ears, a perm, crooked teeth, hair parted down the middle, acne, fat rolls, hairy fingers, and any one of about 50 other forbidden traits, then hit the road, Jack. Darwin Dating doesn’t want you.
The Ugly Bug Ball
Fear not, Darwin Dating rejects, TUBB has you covered. “Aren’t you sick of all the twee lovey-dovey dating sites that show perfectly pretty people walking hand in hand on a windswept beach?” Yes, yes we are. “If you are one of the millions of people that don’t always like what they see in the mirror, then this is the place for you!”
Sea Captain Date
A site that describes itself as “the only place for Sea Captains to connect with men and women who share a love of the ocean.” When? Aren’t sea captains always at sea?
Women Behind Bars
Hey, jailbirds need love, too. If you have a sense of adventure and money to spare for smokes, there’s a lonely felon out there who wants to meet you. What’s she in for? They don’t say. Be afraid.
“Where cat lovers meet and greet.” No dogs allowed!
Date A Golfer
I hear Tiger Woods is available. (link)
For people who love the smell of fresh cow dung in the morning. “You don’t have to be a farmer,” says founder Jerry Miller, “but you do have to have good old-fashioned down-to-earth values.” Literally.
Honorable mentions: ‘Stache Passions, GothicMatch, Cupidtino (for Macintosh lovers), Positive Singles (for people with STDs), The Official Clown Dating Agency (now defunct), Trek Passions, Zombie Harmony (“Because the apocalypse doesn’t have to be lonely”).