There are two over arching facts when it comes to online dating.
Fact One: It is a tireless, nearly intolerable circus of lies, disappointments, and ego shots to your heart and nuts.
Fact Two: It can work.
And that “can,” that little seed of hope thrown amongst all those venomous vines, is what keeps millions going back and back and back again. It’s not romantic. It’s work. A means to an end like going to the gym or going down on a smelly girl. The task is not as important as the fruits of its labor. For most, online dating isn’t a sprint. It’s more like an Iron Man triathlon in the Sahara, and instead of water, your fuel is the hope that there is just one guy out there that doesn’t lie about his age, double chin, sexual orientation and criminal record.
I’m not trying to convince those who are single and dead-tired of the dating rat race to hop back on the cyber pony, but I am saying we must fully get used to the idea. We can’t all find our spouses the old fashioned way: grad school or MTV Spring Break, Cancun.
A few decades from now it will be par for the course to hear school kids talking in the lunchroom about how their grandparents met on Match.com, or eharmony, Nerve.com or Shadi.com. Gone are the stories of our collective grandparents chance meeting when they were both stationed in South Korea, or on a bread line in Manhattan, during the Great Depression. Our grandparents no longer met on Peace Corps, in El Salvador digging a well together. Forget about the stories of Nana noticing a tall handsome American playing piano at a smoke filled cafÃ© in Paris. Grandpa, better known as Thuggy_whatwhat_Mike, sent a flirt-wink to grandma, ThickStacey_4lyfe, and ta-da, a family tree took root.
So dust off your old profile and start using this Wayne Greztsky quote as your new mantra: “Every shot not taken is a shot missed.” Who knows, one day you too can have a snot nosed 5th grade grandson retell stories of how you fell head over heels for Pop-Pop solely because of his sweet screen name: TheRealKanyeWestsPenis.