One of my favorite parts of any relationship is the paradox of expectations that most women seem to adhere to. What is this paradox of expectations? Glad you asked. It’s the mismatch between the understanding that men cannot read women’s minds and the ensuing disappointment that we don’t. It really makes for lots of fun times and episodes of The First 48 and Snapped.
What does this have to do with the price of calendars in Tijuana?
Well, one facet of this paradox is the entitlement issues that so many women have. See, there’s this belief that a man’s goal should be to make the woman happy…which as chick logic (yeah, I said it) would hold, would then ensure the man’s happiness. So while in the real world, everybody makes it a big deal to enforce the concept of self-esteem and the belief that you are indeed responsible for your own hapiness and well-being, in relationships, a man’s happiness hinges upon his ability to keep his woman happy.
Needless to say this is ridiculous. However, I’ve learned in my vast experiences throught North America and Middle Earth that while very few women will actually cop to this sentiment, the majority do subscribe to this notion.
Fooooooooooor instance. I’m a Black man (no airbrush). There is a standing rule in Black America – Thou shalt not touch a Black man’s radio in the car. I’m not sure who started it, perhaps it was Jebediah Jenkins in 1924 when his first wife Wilma tried to change the AM dial in his model T and all hell broke loose. Me no know.
Like I said, this is a standing rule; convention, so to speak. I cannot tell you how many women I know who will get into the car and debo (I’ll add this term to the Guyspeak dictionary) radio. Putting their sticky fingers all over the volumen knobs and changing the stations or committing the most egregious of acts – stopping my music mid-warble. Now this isn’t limited to just Black America. This transcends race and is but one example.
There are myriad examples of women invoking their, “shouldn’t you be trying to make me happy by doing whatever it takes in order to keep yourself happy” mantras. Le sigh. While the ability to actually execute many of their entitlement issues rests on the enablation (its a word!!!) of them, the paradox of the belief that our goal should be their happiness and therefore they should have free reign is a problem that thtreatens national security. Right now, President Obama is probably trying to convince his dearest Michelle that HE is the President and should be the recipient of the big piece of chicken. But alas, he will lose this argument because a happy woman makes a happy home. Even The White House is not immune, and that’s a proper noun.
Ladies, be aware that us men love you and we deal with a lot in order to keep you happy. Just stop touching my damn radio.
Thank you and good night.